Foggy Glasses 

It’s the second day of the new year and it’s another early morning. We got up around 7:30 to clear out of the house. The pest control person was gonna be here at 8:00 to kill bugs.

Turns out we didn’t even have to leave the house this time, and it was very fast, and we bonded with the bug killer over having a mutual respect for all people, and hating fascists. It’s tough living in North Carolina sometimes- a lot of the time.

I listened to some great podcasts while I worked from home. After work I moved to sad songs and missing her. Then I exchanged some text messages with her as I continued listening to sad songs. I was very happy to hear that she misses me too, but there may have been a tear or two. It was the first time I wanted a drink since I quit two weeks ago. Having a drink would have been worse.

When you’re hard on yourself and just think you suck, that’s one thing. When you’re hard on yourself, and think you’re gonna get better, because you don’t suck, then you’re on to something. I’m trying to do the second thing.


Last night I spent New Years Eve doing what I love. Missing friends and sleeping. It was the first New Years Eve I can remember that I was asleep before midnight.

I thought of my friends that live in other cities. I thought of my friends here who were gathering together to celebrate. I thought of my love, gathering with friends in the city she lives in.

Then I woke up. I woke up to many people shooting their guns. In the air, I’m assuming, and hoping. I looked at my phone and saw that it was after midnight.

I fell back asleep thinking of everyone again, but mostly you.

2017: Day One

It’s 2017. I woke up to a very gray morning, pretty early, 8 AM. I lit a cigarette although I should be quitting smoking today.

You never know what someone else is going through. Just that one simple truth is a such a great reason to treat everyone with remarkable respect. Today my friends are making a video for a certain fundraiser that is going up next week. More about that another time.

Mo told me I should just pretend that my life is a play within a play within a play. That made me feel great. “Act 2 is gonna be sooo funny” I said. She laughed and said “In Act 3 there’s a twist!”

Donna is setting up her camera and Frog is howling at the door to the porch, hoping we will let him out. “Nah, Frog, you don’t want to go out there- it’s a really gray day out there, and it’s all rainy” I tell him. Frog is my new cat buddy.

I had a fun time telling stories to Donna and her camera. We went through my musical history, and all the bands I’ve played with, and the history of the open mic I have been hosting for 14 years now, and people, and times changing, and transitions, and life.

Kit Dean met us at the house when we finished. We found an open restaurant, and ordered some food. Donna reminisced about playing paper football and pencil fighting back in elementary school.

She recalled how boys would always smack her fingers instead of the pencil they were trying to break. “Boys are stupid” I told her.

Donna and Kit were nursing a bit of a hangover after their New Years Eve festivities at the studio last night. I thought about all of them a lot last night, but I was very tired and fell asleep before midnight, for the first time on a New Years Eve that I can remember. I awakened to people shooting their guns in the air, and looked at my phone.


We made it through 2016.

I went back to sleep.

Happy New Year, and I miss you.

Bye 2016. Bye.
Here’s the most beautiful version of Auld Lang Syne by my friends Lil P (Jessica Pennell) and JMO (Marshall Owen). This gets me every time. I’ve been very close with both of them, and these days we all live far away from each other. I enjoy spending time with them by watching this video over and over as the big ol’ crap of a year draws to an end.  I love you.

New Years Eve, Guided Bullshit

What a great New Years Eve so far. I was a guest on the Guided Bullshit podcast this morning. I think I met Tara a few months ago, and she told me about her podcast with her friend Jess. It sounded really cool, and we talked about me being a guest sometime.

Turns out I met Jess a while ago, but we never really talked. I got coffee from her at the little bakery downtown sometimes.

I’ve listened to a few of the podcasts now, and really enjoyed it. They’re funny. They obviously love each other, it’s apparent when they give each other shit- and impart wisdom.

So it was exciting to stop by the house and talk with two folks that I don’t really know, early morning, on the last day of 2016. Not my favorite year, by far, but this last day feels inspiring.

We talked about so much stuff, I really can’t paraphrase, nor should I. We covered a lot, and I really opened up about some things that have been going on with me over the past few months. I thought about it a lot, and decided I would be remarkably honest if I felt good about it at the time. I did. They were very nice, very understanding, and we had a real good conversation over coffee and cigarettes.

The episode will be posted on January 12th. You’ll have to wait until then for all the gory details.

Thanks again for having me. Much fun.

Very early morning

It’s earlier than I expected but I’m feeling good about waking up and going outside to see the nice warm day. Being outside, wearing a T-shirt, in the middle of December is a pretty nice thing about living in North Carolina. My shoulder is still recovering from a nasty fall I had last weekend. That was the last time I really drank alcohol. And it seems like I won’t be doing that again anytime soon. But I am feeling good this morning. It’s so damn early though. 5:46am. When I say “really “drink alcohol, it’s only because I drank one cider with dinner last night. But it was Xmas.

An attempt at a blog

I really haven’t written a blog. I usually find myself quite busy playing music, hosting a weekly open mic, hosting a weekly radio show, rehearsing with bands, playing shows, and trying to eat food and have a drink and a smoke every now and then.

Music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.  My mother plays piano and sings beautifully, so I was exposed to that loveliness. She loved playing Beatles records, as well as Bob Dylan, Arlo Guthrie, and Melanie. Later came Pink Floyd. All of these records got into my brain whether I liked it or not.

As I grew a little older, I wanted to play music. I probably should have just learned piano from my mother, but instead, at 8 years old, my folks bought me a cheap electric guitar and a small practice amp. I loved Michael Jackson and Prince and Def Leppard, and I wanted to play electric guitar. I took lessons from some loser at a music store. I only call him a loser because in one year of lessons, I was on the B string. Two strings in a YEAR. No chords. Not a single chord. Just picking out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and the like, on those two high strings.

He was taking advantage of my parent’s very small amount of money, and my 8 year old naïveté. I quit.

I would next move to the snare drum, but eventually went back to the guitar- and I’ve never really left.

Next: The snare drum (or lack there of)